A few weeks ago, I spent five glorious days at a five star all-inclusive resort in Riviera Maya, Mexico. And while that may sound like I’m being braggy and obnoxious, I tell you this to give you context. The trip was a perk of my side hustle Eat Pray Love Travel, meaning I didn’t have to pay for my stay, and thank God, because my finances have been riding the struggle bus since February 2017, when my two income household became a one income household with two income bills, but I digress.
The opportunity to visit the Iberostar Grand Paraiso (a five star, all-inclusive, adults-only resort) was a just-in-time blessing. It came a little over three months after the official demise of my marriage and a few weeks after turning the big 5-0. To say I was feeing some type of way about my life is an understatement. So as financially challenged as I was, I bought an airline ticket along with transportation to and from the hotel, and reminded myself that self-care means actually taking care of yourself.
This was my first time traveling alone in many years, and the first time in even more years where I was simply Janiré, not someone’s wife, someone’s mother’ someone’s daughter, or someone’s friend.
On my first day, I had a lunch with myself at a beachfront restaurant, read a book on my room’s balcony, and went to dinner with myself at the resort’s Italian restaurant, where I was invited join a lovely couple for dinner. The conversation was enjoyable and the food was amazing.
On my second day, I did nothing except read and order room service. (Pro tip: Five star all-inclusives include tipping, which is a blessing if you are traveling while struggling.) I also spent time thinking about who I am, what I love, what I expect, and what I require. This was a very hard exercise. It required that I allow myself to be vulnerable and say out loud the things that were locked inside my head and my heart.
On day three, I walked around the resort, had lunch at a pool-side restaurant with myself and dinner at the surf and turf restaurant on site. Later that evening, I attended one of the resort’s nightly shows called Broadway Review. The singers were amazing and the dancers were professionals. At the end of the show, the dancers came into the audience and asked folks to dance merengue; I had to represent for all Dominicans, so I got down for the culture.
On day four, I visited one of the sister resorts; the Grand is the adults-only anchor of Iberostar’s five resort property in Playa del Carmen. After running into six million families with young children and ten thousand party people, I was super happy my stay was in a hotel that catered to my bougie introvert sensibilities. (I am a mother of six, so you already know I love children, I just don’t want to vacation with them ALL THE TIME.)
On day five, I was back on my balcony reflecting on my time there and on what I learned about myself. In no particular order:
- I am willing to abandon my belief that taking baths is nothing more than laying in your own filth, if done in a jacuzzi tub.
- It is okay that I am not for everybody, even if I struggle with wanting everyone to like me.
- I am convinced more than ever that your environment greatly impacts your state of mind and well being, so I will continue to surround myself with beauty and rid myself of the mediocre many for the excellent few.
- No person or circumstance can block what God has meant for me, no matter how hard they try or how determined they are.
- Non-stop flights are necessary for one’s mental health.
- Cheesecake can be part of every meal, including breakfast.
- I do not like Southwest Airlines’s free-for-all seating process, at all.
All in all, my first solo trip in forever was amazing. I was reminded that I enjoy my own company, and that I am enough as is. May I always remember.